This is my family
Christmas 2007
Monday, April 7, 2008
Smoking
So I decided last Monday morning that I was all done with ciggarettes and haven't smoked one since, no even so much as a drag. I know, I know, your probably all saying "NO FUCKING WAY" but guess what I shit you not!!! I am well into day 8 and I am so all set. Now if I can only get my wonderful husband to kick the pack, life would be great, no more smoke around the children (we don't smoke in the home but it still comes in on you no matter what) and I dont have to smell the stink on his clothes anymore!!!
Femal Vocab!!
The Vocabulary of Women
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
(5) Loud Sigh: This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint; just say you’re welcome. I want to add in a clause here: This is true unless she says ’Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ’you’re welcome’ in this case, for that will bring on a ’whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying *%! YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ’What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to 3.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
(5) Loud Sigh: This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint; just say you’re welcome. I want to add in a clause here: This is true unless she says ’Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ’you’re welcome’ in this case, for that will bring on a ’whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying *%! YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ’What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to 3.
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